Pt: *actively throwing up, eyeballing me*
K: *hands him a basin*
Pt: I remember you… You’re an amazing dancer.
K: *raises brow*
Pt: No one would forget that face and body. *string of turkey hanging out of mouth*
K: Mkay, call me when you’re done throwing up! :)
Posts tagged patients
*Pt & Wife discussing his heart health while he hops onto the OR stretcher*
Wife: Well, I just want your heart to be healthy!
Pt: *grumbles* I know where this is going.
Wife: No, no, I’ll still have sex with you. I just don’t want you dying on me! LITERALLY.
Wife to Nurse K: My friends husband literally died on top of her, you know, during the act, missionary style!
K: Guess that means one should always date younger!
*Wife and pt snicker*
Pt: No. Two rules. Rule #1: Always date younger. Rule #2: Always doggy style.
K: Alright, mister! I’ve got your antibiotic to give you.
Pt: Why don’t you just give me your hand in marriage! You’d make a great third wife and you’re not married, so let’s go!
K: How do you know I’m not married? I have gloves on!
Pt: I scoped it out earlier…. I’m one of those… Ah, I can’t remember the word…!!!! Someone who follows you….
Pt: YES!!!!! I’m typically a stalker.
K: I see, interesting…! *simultaneously flips over ID badge*
K: Okay, Mr. G (psych pt on hold, sitter) it’s time for your meds.
Pt: Can we wait 15 mins? I know I have to take them but I’m not ready yet.
K: 15 mins… No problem!
*strolls back in and patient eyeballs me*
Pt: You know… I was thinking that you are so beautiful….. Not anymore! It’s over between us.
Damn. Broken up with by 9am.
Pt: Do you like your job? Are pts mean sometimes?
K: I LOVE it. :) Sometimes they are not the happiest.
Pt: I decided 20 years ago I was going to be nice today and every day.
K: I like that outlook. :)
Pt: Yep. People don’t realize that love and humor can go a long way. You’ve made me laugh so many times today, a ray of sunshine on a gloomy day.